If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman

If you don't, you are not a man



If you praise her, she thinks you are lying

If you don't, you are good for nothing



If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp

If you don't, you are not understanding



If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring

If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing



If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy

If you don't, you are a dull boy



If you are jealous, she says it's bad

If you don't, she thinks you do not love her



If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her

If you don't, she thinks you do not like her



If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait

If she is late, she says that's a girl's way



If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time"

If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls"



If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold

If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage



If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics

If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction She is a woman



If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting

If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring



If you talk, she wants you to listen

If you listen, she wants you to talk




In short:

So simple, yet so complex

So weak, yet so powerful

So damning, yet so wonderful

So confusing, yet so desirable... ...